What would Jesus do?

I have always hated the phrase “compassionate conservatism”. To me it is probably the most stupid combination of words.

Whenever I hear that phrase my blood just boils because I think, “What the hell does it that suppose to mean?” Is it just another way of saying: my compassion is conserved for me and my kind and what I think is the right way – and there is only one right way?

If Jesus was polled today I wonder what he would say and do? I wonder how people would react if Jesus’ compassion became conserved.

Wouldn’t that be funny if we all came to the heavenly gates and were told that heaven has downsized. Jesus( the people-loving, long-haired, forgiving-and-forgetting Jew) has gone mainstream and is tired of the freeloading on his back:

He set up this welfare system called Grace to carry us when we fail and stumble. But dammit, we abuse it. We sit on our butts about sins and then do the weekly collection of forgiveness. And as soon as we get our welfare, we rush out to spend it like addicts at the garage sales of vices, where the bargains are best because really, once you are saved you are SAVED! Hell, sin all we want because come Sunday we are on the dole again. We don’t do a dang thing to really change. He’s tired of 2000 plus years of promises and the same old habits. The failure rate is exceedingly high and the price of Christ’s blood is high – too high for such lowly scums. We are scammers – we just use Him as an “in” to heaven, without works.

And then to top it off we keep having children to continue the freeloading – our children are no better than we are. Our children will become predictable sinners, to produce more generations of sinners – it’s too sad to even contemplate the endless cycle. The system is being overused and heaven is filled with worthless people who didn’t merit their rewards. The martyers and saints are protesting because it’s unfair that they had endured torture and endless persecutions while the trash is just getting a free ride. The prodigal son’s elder brother is hammerring the “amen” to this because he is still burning.

Well Jesus has had it. There’s a two year work program in place – get yourselves educated and work out your salvation. And start at minimum wage. Better hope that you learn quick enough and kick enough habits to increase your crowns in heaven before the two years end because after that Grace is few.

Yep….if we applied Jesus to our ways of living out our faith towards others, then what’s the use of believing in an afterlife? I would hate to have to spend an eternity working at Heaven’s fastfood joints earning minimum wage just to keep my feet barely above the licking flames of hell’s fire.

Now don’t even get me started on this “ownership society” ideal. Just mentioning it makes me go into a fit. I need a strong cup of coffee just about now.

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